After a twice-extended secondment, Acting Business Support Manager, Jo Merrimer bid goodbye to the Corporate Communications branch last week.
Merrimer, 56, a long-rumoured nepotism hire who infamously attempted to hire a male staffer passing her in a hallway, showed only flashes of resentment at the forgotten and hastily rescheduled 4:45pm Friday afternoon tea. Parting with the bureaucratic and cryptic wisdom surrounding her departure as “lost opportunity”, Merrimer talked for 5 minutes about her dogs and horse riding.
“And I can’t forget to thank my dream team.” Merrimer remembered. “That’s right – my girls, who stuck by me,” miming applause to her team that includes two male staffers.
Despite her failed application for the ongoing role and more than 20 years in similar roles, Business Analyst Michael Smith said he would miss Jo.
‘Joey’ was a member of staff in this department.” Smith said. When asked if Merrimer had helped to benchmark candidates for her replacement, Smith swallowed hard on his cream scone, then coughed a strawberry onto the floor. “No – the role will be absorbed into the structure.”
For others, the farewell snacks lined the stomach before a Friday night drinking, “She’s a disaster,” said Vernon, refusing to be quoted on the condition of anonymity and craning the neck of another staff member, “She couldn’t get a train to work on time, was 10 minutes late to every meeting – if she attended at all.” The first staffer book-ending Merrimer’s tenure, “Disappeared for whole afternoons. Undermined our work despite a lack of credentials or self-awareness.” The staff members, now facing each other in a insult match fit for an exit interview continued, “Forever droning on about her house renovation.” “Fuck, yeah?” “I’m happy to see her go (back to her substantive role) and I’m only here 2 days a week.”
Hunting for the other side of the compliment sandwich brought few leads. When asked why managers are moved to work outside of their skill set, HR said the idea came from one HR member who had attended a Catholic Church retreat.